RIP ..... Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

23/5/14

mama who is ur best friend demands my little piscean .......he needs reassurance every once in a while and he loves to repeat ......reminds me of his grandad (a piscean too)and our early morning talks ..... he needed a black tea at 6am and i wud wake up to make it and then sit with him while he sipped it ....he always started off by narrating his dreams ....such vivid dreams he had and ever so often i wud wonder which year he was talking about and if he was talking about his dream or something else ...... he always spoke in english with me ...even though i understood assamese by that time ..... i would reply very rarely ...coz i never got some part of his extensive dreams and i did not want to hurt his feelings .... it is surprising how my second child has so many of his mannerisms ....his anger, the way he sat, he eats very limited amounts of food ...... a strange child who does not like chocolates and even if the food is his favourite .....he sticks to his quota and never ever over eats !!!! i so wish he wud and become a little chubby

i always answer my little one's questions with questions ....who do i go for movies with? who do i go to restaurants with and get so thoroughly embarrassed ? who do i go shopping with ...who do i go for walks with ? by now he is bored of my questions and screams.... mama u forgot to click the food !!!!!!!! and i smile a thank you at my little imp ..... both the brothers want to help with the photo session and then my elsder one wanted the phone to see the videos i made of the football matches .... and finally i am so hungry i give in ......

yikes i had not seen the videos and suddenly realise i sound highly weird supporting my little one to convert opportunities into a goal on the field ...wil have to take off the sound in the videos ....i make a mental note to myself ..... then the elder one decides he has to pull up the little one for not converting so many opportunities into goals on the field .....and what a sorry captain the little one was ..... obviously the little one who had cried abt a weak team for 4 days was not going to take any of it and so starts another of their loud arguments......

i try the emotional black mail of .....i am tired and hate arguments when i am eating and try to sound as hurt as possible .......both the boys as usual have an attack of temporary deafness ..... lol ......most moms would understand this affliction :( i decide to change topics and ask if the they can see the sports channel well ......and luckily they decide to see an interview of the boys... who recently sang a hindi song, for the release of spiderman in india ...... ha ha ....sometimes miracles do happen chez nous too :D .....
their favourite way of spending time with me of late is .....to tell me the virtues of programs being aired on the idiot box ....they are very upset with the fact that i have given up on watching the idiot box ..... finally we watch the making of the song by sanam and samar  ..... and the sensible discussion that ensued was docile enough and i finished my food in peace yesterday afternoon ......

i do have a real bad habit of forgetting to pay the electricity bill ...and of late if the electricity goes off ....my kids are like ...mama did u forget to pay the bill !!! and i am of course not .... twice after coming back we had our electricity going off for delay in paying the bill .....they both are my local guardians and sometimes the incessant calls when i am out of the house, can be a real headache ....they need to know where i am at all times .....a sad fall out of having a worrying father, who grew up with insurgency and has major trust issues .....some of that overcautious approach to circumstances did rub off on my kids .....
spending extreme close up time with my boys, is a lesson in 'strategy' at most times !!!!!! they teach me new aspects of life and myself every day ..... :) 

10/5/14

went to drop my little one to his football coaching class .....he was supposed to go alone today as my elder one is not in a mood to go watch football if he can not play it .....moreover cousins being in his granny's place ..he refused to go ....i always thought the younger was a bold kid as when ever we go out... it is he, who gets information or even runs most errands for me ....he does max for me ....today it was so upsetting to see him wiping tears as i was taking him in the rick to the venue and quickly wiping his eyes once the bus was there ....i told his brother's batch mate to look after him and ensure that he ate at break time .... sigh .... kids always come up with something different when u least expect it ....he is a little upset at his team being weak and losing two matches and winning only one match and having a draw in the 4th match .....i felt it is all ok as long as he enjoyed, played and ran well....  

11/5/14

he did just fine yesterday .... he scored a goal and made his team win a crucial match ....he has been made captain of his team and was in seventh heaven when my friends and i went to pick him up ....he had a great time telling them both abt his match and i was glad i made him go yesterday .... he is thrilled i am gonna be there with him today .... how can i not be there ...both my kids will be getting their certificates from the ppl who run the coaching classes .... the boy who started 'happy feet' is an ex student of mine ..... life is full circle now ..... in a way :)

14/6/14

the thought that ...we need an army is the root of all defence spending ......if all the countries in the world think of peace and give it a chance ......the only ppl losing out will be the arms and ammunition industry ...by arms i mean the entire gamut of industries like war planes to drones to missiles to what have u ......can u even imagine the huge amount of money that will be free for use .....can you imagine all nations becoming welfare states !!!!!! ohh if only all the nations thought and did away with the army, navy and the air force .....

book i am reading ......

whenever there is a birthday party my kids have to attend .....i insist on buying books as gifts ....no matter how much my kids protest .....that is the only gift i give .....i am horrid that way and intend to stick to this practise .....last saturday,it was the birthday of a little boy ......he goes to the school my kids were in till 2012 ..... they have remained friends through the shift to bahrain and back and shift to a new school ..... all of them love going bowling together ..... we moms allow it once in 6 months ...

i got him books as usual and chanced to see the title of this book, while i was shopping for the gifts ....i did not buy it then .... i dropped both my kids to the party venue and went back to the book store, on the top floor of the mall ....

the name of book was what struck me ...... 'daddy long legs' ..... i came to know, it was the name of an insect in bahrain, when i used to talk to a biology student .... it is a puffin classic.. written by an author i have not read before ....jean webster .....i glanced through the book... as i wanted to see what the book was all about ....and was so pleasantly surprised, to see ....it was all about letters by a young girl to her benefactor... whom she has never seen and who never replies!!!!! .....

there is so much work related reading i do of late ....it is heavy going as i have to memorise some of it  .....for discussions and work per se ....after a long time i was reading a light story ......
best part ....there was a 10% discount on the price .....i bought it ....and today i plan to finish the last few chapters .....

sometimes just going to the book store.... is reason for a few hours of escape.... into a world of make belief ...right ? :) 

24/6/14

something made me think of the private college i used to work in .......
there was something just not right with the vastu of the college .....it used to attract and retain horrid profs ...... the good ones left the fastest ...no one stayed beyond two to three years ......

when i joined this college in june 2007 ...i was a visiting faculty and i used to be amazed, at how poorly the visiting faculty were treated at times ..... i would always wonder why the conditions were so warped, as the college was dependent on visiting faculty to a very large extent .... in six months i decided to become a full time faculty....
once i became a full time faculty i had my own work station with an L shaped desk and drawers underneath ..... a computer with internet connectivity and access to a printer (which had a very weird mind of its own ... lol) .... i decided that, since i knew what the visiting faculty go through ...i will be nice to them .....

every time a new person joined or a visiting faculty needed help or just a place to keep their stuff, i would oblige or help...as the case may be ..... however, if someone new joined ....it used to amaze me, as to how rudely.... some of the full time faculty would behave towards a new person ...... i would gently nudge them towards the people and the way the system worked .... in the end i would tell them ...... see i am persona non grata in this organisation, coz i have been fighting with the management for quite some time about changing systems, that exist ....that are detrimental to the growth of a prof ... at the same time ..i would also tell them, who the management pets were and suggest they be in their good books.....

after all the help they would get from me ..... a reminder that i belong to a category that is anti management .....the new ones who joined, would gravitate towards the management pets ...... except for two ladies who continued to talk to me, despite my warning them about my status in the organisation ...invariably i would smile when the new ones would show their true colours .....all it took was a minimum of 10 days.... sometimes even less .....to know how a new faculty would behave .....

99% of the time... new people would gravitate towards the management stooges... even though they had endured rude arrogant behaviour from those women ..... and i would always think ....wow such practical people these are ......they all knew how to go after butter in life ....pun intended !!!