Saturday 4 July 2020

Today 4th July ...is the Anniversary of my Near Death Experience aka Riggggorrrrrr LMAO

it is by far the Exact Replica of scenes from The Exorcist and the entire gamut and bevy of Horrrrorrrrrr Movies LMAO
when my ante natal class was being shown the labour rooms in the hospital-where i was born-and the place where i was planning to deliver my First Born ....
we women noticed a ward boy walk into the labour room ...which had one lady crying in pain on a delivery bed and 3 delivery beds in all in that one room ...
And Yikesss we went ....imagine having a child with two more people in the room and their husbands too being in the Room
Yikes ....Creepy as Hell and WTF raised to the Power Infinity
no matter who says what ....
Normal Deliveries are Dehumanising as F
one has to lie there with Pain and EVERYONE walks in to look at one's ...Always Covered Parts
Aaaeeelaaa Sic as F
i switched off from wanting to Deliver
Message got sent to and Accepted by my Unborn
Who Promptly Went into
Do Not Allow Water Bag to Burst Mode
more WOE to me
30thJune 2001 arrived with Trepidation and Went
1st, 2nd July too went and i started to Panic
my maiden surname is Panicker ...
Ergo ...was Born with Panic DNA LMAO
so late on 2nd July...my friend from ante natal class decided she is going in for induced Birth... as her baby too was in Lockdown mode
so i too called my doc and got admitted on 3rd night
4th morning ...19years ago ...on this day ...at the break of dawn i was given an enema and told to be NBM ...nil by mouth
Imagine ....saline and some medicine via a Drip and No Food for a Much Pregnant lady .....
kya hoga ....what will happen
by 3.30pm that day i was Hungry as Hell and Tired of the Dammmn Pain and Cold as Hell in the Luxury Labour room
....why-thanks to the Air Conditioning ...LMAO LMAO LMAO
why Luxury Labour Room-zero Ward Boys can enter ..Literal LMAO LMAO LMAO   
downside to Luxury Labour room ....freaking cold as hell ...i definitely had hypothyroidism by then i guess
the Only test my doctor missed when i got a rash all over my body in the 8th month like German measles
he and the Golwilkar Lab people too were worried
the rash went away ...but both the doctor and the lab ....made me repeat the Ts T3 and T4 twice 8 months later as Both Believed that i could not be hyperthyroidic-i was and got a free lab test LOL LOL LOL
so back to 3.30pm on 4th July 2001 ....my body got Wild at the cold and lack of food ...and it decided to float an 83Kg moi and my baby
Freak Show ensued ...i thought ....Fing Asssssmese and their Black Magic and Hate for poooor old me ....this is assamese black magic
Idiot Moi-it was Science ...when some people's body temp Dips ...they get Rigor
a Simple Truth we DENY ...ergo we think we can Levitate due to Ghouls and Evil Spirits  
ergo ...i got the FRIGHT of my life ....3rd time during my pregnancy ...i was on the Verge of Death
and All i could think of was ....Silly Ghost theme based movies i Watched Eons ago LMAO LMAO LMAO
the Matron got the Fright of her life ....she Held my Body down and sent the dafto i married to get nurses and blankets
and then the Warmth of the Blankets helped the Exorcism aka Rigor subside and i was all good and still in one piece on the narrow delivery table LMAO
and then they gave me one small plate of vegetarian food ....i wanted to eat the Universe ....i was sooooooo Hungry and Everyone was eating food .... except moi and my baby ....he-in vitro kicked me Max on 4th July
But ...he Refused to Want to come out either
when his heart beats started falling by 7pm on 5th July 2001 ...the Doctor Gave Up and ordered an Emergency C-Section ...
and i am Soooooooooooooooooooooooo For C-sections
my second child is a Planned C-Section and both my second baby and i were Peacefull and i Loved that entire fuss free and Beautifull experience of Birthing .....
some folks will say that i am a Whatever
so Whatever
but i Love C-Section Deliveries
Keeps it Humane and Peacefull
City bred and born
LOL LOL LOL

No comments:

Conversations chez moi on 1st April 2017...

 Conversations chez moi  yesterday : little one to me ....if you say Yes to me mama (he needed an ice cream) i will teach you bad ..bad word...