my words on 22nd March 2017

 my paternal grandfather and the millions he made in the 40s 50s and 60s ....somehow ...i always felt there was a curse on the huge compound with 4 bungalows ...4 of my uncles Never took up business ...one who took it up ..ran it aground ..with his Believing ways ....

however my grandad's brothers used him as a stepping stone ..to become big names in that very town ....
in my mom's side too the extreme heights my maternal grandad and some of my cousins are on ...even now ....
made me see how much better life was in Pune ...where no one cursed anyone and people were practical and simple and extremely hard working ...

both sides of my parents family ...made me want a life of a middle class person ...away from being Known and in the limelight ....
sometimes an ordinary simple life is a blessing ....

sometimes the tragedy keeps going on ....two days back my cousin on my maternal side lost her only child ...an 18year old girl child who was doing her engineering .... both my cousin's parents are no more too ...my parents call them once in a while and they call my parents sometimes ...as my cousin and her siblings have no one to consult in some cases or sometimes it is to simply share...
this cousin was my childhood best friend and glass bangle buying partner in Kallada ..my mom's village.... younger than me by 2 years ....someone who was under complete bed rest for this girl child ...her child was her world ....her husband holds a very high public post in Kerala ... such terrible times for my cousin sister and her husband .....
all i can do is send them positive vibes and hope to meet her before i leave India ...

however my kids think very differently ...as luckily they have not seen Kerala and my elder child remembers nothing of the times in Assam
i see the Panicker spark to do business in my elder kid ..since he first sold his cricket attack cards at 8yrs of age ....and ...put an online adv for his beyblades during his computer class in Bishop's Pune ....and best part he gave my phone number as the contact number ....
and now his youtube company ...as he calls it ....

Stressfree Work Environments are more Productive ...

 Never think that Stress in the work place results in Productivity or Progress ...

it results in harassed workers .... i may have stopped using Swiggy but that founder has a motto that is worker friendly ... he does not think much of those who keep ordering at night or whenever
I do strongly believe that the short span delivery system that is highly popular today is not very worker friendly ... though it is a boon for slightly forgetfull homebodies like me ...
in Parry Agro they benchmarked The Maverick aka Ricardo Semler ... he empowered his workforce and got them to be Highly Conscientious/Responsible
such a workforce doesn't need Supervision
Immediate reduction in a line of Supervisors and Managers ...
and when i used to work .... Exam Department was known for fights and memos ... when i joined i got a memo thanks to a friend from the Math Department and it was Intense the Pressure for submission of corrected papers ...
No One gave me an Iota of consideration as i was using my left hand to correct and i correct with a difference ... i write notes on the sidelines to Justify the marks given ... i was the Royal Scapegoat and my neck was Always on the line and being in the line of fire meant that ...Anyone and Everyone could take potshots at me ....ergo every other Assistant Prof could correct ... but i had to Justify and Be on Guard ... i never had the liberty of letting my guard down for even a Nano Second ...
Ergo when i started handling Central Assessment of Papers ...i first ensured that Everyone ...specially the Math Department got enough and more time to correct ...never gave that friend a memo Even when she was late ... she did say that for the first time ....paper correction is not Harried a task ...
Paper Correction unfortunately is a Core Activity and if Profs have peace of mind .... marking will be Kinder ... i hoped ...
i sincerely hope that student evaluation should not be based on Rote Learning anymore .... we need to change our system of Tests and the huge emphasis on Rote Learning in many Faculties ...
some faculties like Medicine ... i am not sure if we can get away with Rote Learning ... a doctor can not keep searching a system to know how to diagnose ...
ergo all i know is that a workplace that is Stress Free is a Happier Place as in South India ...there was Intense stress for tea planters as the Geography is such that there is Constant Run Off due to torrential rains and the hilly slopes where tea is planted ... plus the quality of leaf and tea is quite different even when it is Orthodox Tea(higher priced ) as compared to CTC ... plus elephants were a cause for stress as they could wreck havoc and they were Always Revered and Never ever harmed ....
but they were reason for cost to the company from the environment ... the entire region was a Wild Life Sanctuary ... plus there was a very Active social life ... going to and returning from those numerous parties was a huge stress factor for the wives ...specially me ... as it was a long drive back and even if the person driving has had only a few drinks ....one could end up in the river as the roads were narrow ...a few luckily stopped right at the edge of the water before going in ....
however in the north east ...tea planters had excellent quality due to the Alluvial Soil due to Constant Floods and the terrain was flat ...practically no run off and plucking was easy too ... so tea manufacturing per se was easier
the problem was threat to life from idiotic humans who wanted freedom from India ...those buffoons (Insurgent Groups) were the bane of the tea planting industry ...
external conditions being constant ... in the north east ...tea manufacturing and work was Easy and life was calmer ...however those with Factory work ...always had a killing schedule .... worked from 11pm-3am ...then from 6am-9am breakfast break ...back to work from 9.30am to 1.30pm ...break for lunch and nap till 4pm ...work from 4pm--8pm ...dinner and nap till 10.50pm ...back in the factory at 11pm ...
most planters were used to this schedule and wives usually were free to take the vehicle with a driver and have a social life ...shopping and going to the club ... not chez moi though ...
i had total and complete house arrest ... and i got sooo used to it ... i have been taken out of the Tea Estates of assssssam but i kind of live like that...i rarely feel like galivanting around ...
Ergo ...woh Sikander kya tha jisse Zulmm se Jeeta Jahaan
Pyaar se joh jeete dilon ko woh zhuka de aasmaan
who was that Alexader who conquered with cruelty
he who conquers with love will be able to make the skies dip/swoon/bend

Yippee for Some Cloud Cover today ...

 

Hallelujah…there's cloud cover today ...and i am happy for the construction workers ...working on the 10th floor (i guess) in the distance ... i was thinking about them when the sun was really hot yesterday afternoon before i started cooking ....

i got some bad FakeNews and felt soooo bad about someone's passing... that i put on music and decided to rest my eyes on the greenery outside my window ... and i noticed the labourers toiling in the hot sun and felt bad about the amount of time they had to bear the strong sunshine ....

In Bahrain during peak summer ...construction work would get done at night ... to ensure that the workers have a better deal ... in these times of Living with Climate Change ... it is good that at least some folk in the construction business have started genuinely caring about the workforce they employ ... it is difficult to switch timings when the construction site is in a residential area ... i guess

today i am glad for the dip in temperature as that means a bit of respite for those who work so hard to make homes they will never live in ... ironies in life are so strange .... people who work the hardest ...specially physical labour earn the least... but if any Executive tries construction labour for a day ... it will put them out of circulation for a week ...specially the sun's intensity ....

i guess that is what is life ... the harder the physical labour ... the lower the pay ... however ... in Kerala those engaged in physical labour get paid very well ...ergo it is difficult to find house help or farmhands of late ...

the good part is ... the Standard of Life has gone up ... many folk who are labourers and from the rest of India ...go down to God's Own country and work there and tell their folk back home that they are working in Dubai ... for them Kerala is akin to Dubai ... LOL ...

My Aunt Vijayamma ...

This Aunt of mine helped Everyone and went out of her way to be there for anyone and everyone ... on my trips to Kerala when i used to be sent alone ...after 8th grade and 9th grade and 10th and 11th grade ... my aunt would come and pick me up from my maternal granny's house or even from her elder sister's house ...in April 1988 my granny had shifted into her 3rd child's house ... that aunt's house was in town and this aunt would come all the way from the estate she would live in and pick me up and we would change 3 buses to reach her beautifull estate ...
the fragrances that used to hit me when i would walk from the bus stop to her house ....were sooo very unique ... it used to be a long walk to the estate ...and on the way there was a bunglow belonging to an Ex Officer from the Navy ... and i would always wonder how remote that place was for someone so used to town postings and the sea ...
my aunt's house was a long way away from the sea ...there were ponds there ... and one on the premises itself ... i keep asking my aunt about the trees in her compound ... i knew them sooooo very well ....they were huge and the ground littered with fruits ....two of the trees had the fruit which bore the nutmeg as a seed ...
there were a large number of cashew nut trees and we cousins would go pick up the casuarina fruit and get it back to the house and separate the nut from the casuarina apple and make a small bonfire and roast the nuts and then get our hands all dirtied by breaking the nuts and then sit around and eat it ...
being chased by a python once and then there was my favourite tree of all ... the Ilimbika tree near the toilet ... recently when i was talking to my aunt ... she said that uncle had bought that tree on one of his trips to north Kerala and he has cared for it quite a bit till it started bearing fruit .... my cousins unfortunately did not care much for that tree and the youngest boy of the house cut it down a few years ago ... i felt so bad to hear about that tree getting cut down ...
it was one of my Favourite trees ...
to the backside of the bathroom on the outside of the house ...were the clove trees and the fragrance in that part of the property was even more Awsum
to the left side of the back entrance was the breadfruit tree .... a huge one at that and it always bore a lot of fruit ... then there was a big cow shed near it and the spare rooms there got used in the later years when they uprooted the casuarina trees all around and planted rubber ... then there used to be a machine of some sort ... and a room to dry the rubber sheets ...a little away from the bread fruit tree was the big cement tank ...more like a man made pond and there two nutmeg trees right next to that water body ...
my aunt keeps lamenting that since there are no workers to pick the fruit ... it keeps falling into the pond and rotting in the water ... earlier they would make pickles with the outer covering of the nutmeg fruit ...
Mace looks sooo Brilliantly beautifull when one breaks open a nutmeg fruit ...it looks shiny and quite like plastic and i would find everything in their house sooo exquisite and fascinating ...
then there was the terrace farming ...
their house was in a bit of a valley ...kind of ... from the main door to the road in front of the house there was a steep climb ..and to the left side of the driveway ...was an area where my uncle had introduced step farming ...
there was purple yam and other horticultural crops planted and i loved the root vegetables which were a staple part of the diet ...
to the back of the house were extensive farms and to a little distance to the left of the house were the banana plantations ...
exploring the property was one of my fav things to do ... and walking in the water running through the drains dividing the paddy lands ...
so much to see, know and explore ...there was no TV in their house and we never were in the house enough to ever get bored ...
if it rained we still would be out in the fields ... in the evenings we would sit around and play board games and talk and we always wound up early ...as everyone woke up before the sun as the cows were always milked very early before sunrise ...
my aunt would start cooking very early as there were soooo many farm hands to feed and colossal amounts of food got cooked everyday ...as by a half past noon all the farm hands would troop into the house after a wash to have their lunch ... after they left ... my cousins and i would eat lunch and either go out again or sit around and play games or talk ..sometimes we would argue and time always passed sooo quickly when we were at Kotathala ...
To the north of the main road was the Bhoothataan mala aka the ghost mountain ...sometimes my aunt would drag the lot of us to the temple there and make us all pray ... and she would offer special puja in all our names ... that was fun too ...the rocks on that Ghost mountain were jet black and warm to touch and i would run around to my heart's content ...
years later when i was having major stomach pain when working full time in the college next to my house ...my aunt cut up jackfruit and dried it and then had it ground and sent the powder to me ...
it helped me with the stomach pain ...and i felt so gratefull for her having taken the effort to go out of her way for me ...
my dad and all of us kept calling her to come to Pune and she never wanted to even visit any place ... she is sooo tied to her land and house ...she has been looking after it for soo long all by herself ... during 6th grade exam time ...there was news that her husband was backstabbed by the greedy conniving people in that locality and so he just walked out of the house and that place and no one ever heard of him ever again ...
no one knows what happened to him as he disappeared into thin air ... the people in that locality are really ungratefull and mean ... he did so much for the progress of that remote region ... he was a contractor and used a lot of his own money to build access roads and ensure connectivity ...
that uncle's brother was shot down by the police for being a communist in the early 80s and i remember seeing this aunt and her entire family's photograph in a Malayalam weekly ... sitting in an Air Force station in a remote part of Pune... i thought that were quite well known ... in a tragic way though ... i never ever saw that uncle's brother ...
that uncle always bought really brilliant dress materials for his kids ... and i loved all the clothes that my cousin Molly owned ... i would borrow her clothes when i went over as they were long skirts with very short tops ... i would look very thin in her clothes and they would collectively hoo and hawww about town people transforming into proper village folk when they wore village wear and we would giggle a lot ....
the year uncle disappeared .... during the holidays post 6th grade ...i started cooking for the family and my dad's friends too ....when someone dropped by ...plus i was cooking for the alcoholic brother too ie my uncle ...it was really tough and so were the flat breads i made ...horror stories
my dad never ever complained about any food Ever ... he would quitely eat whatever goulash i ended up making ...
the alcoholic uncle was a bloody pain but i Ignored him royally ...
sadly for my aunt ...life has always been tough since she got married ...she was the most beautifull daughter of the house and a doctor had come asking for her hand in marriage and she was keen on that proposal ...
alas that did not work out and my grandad liked the next proposal very much ...it was my uncle's second marriage and he had oodles of property and lots of money too and my maternal grandfather said yes ...
there were loads of loud comments about her beauty as compared to the groom's during the marriage ceremony itself .... i guess whatever is Destined happens ... no matter who wants what ... she helped her husband fully and looked after her mother-in-law very well and had four children ... but something about that beautifull house in that awsum location was not right ...
that house saw constant sadness ...one after the other ...they still own a lot of property and they do not want for anything
but i hope they would get some peace of mind ... that things would be calm among the siblings and aunt gets to spend the rest of her days in peace ...
such little she asked for ...peace of mind .... and it has been the Most Elusive ... her entire life ...she Strived hard and met all kinds of situations head on ....poor thing had no other option but to be Strong for eveeryone ...
since 1983 ..the year uncle disappeared ...she has been Brave and dealt with all kinds of problems and looked after the land ... why can't the universe give her some peace of mind now at least ... what a diffiult life time of tears she has been given ... Cruel is life for the Very Kind and the Very Brave ...

Never ...not just a Housewife ... an epitome of Selflessness ...

They say that for everything one loses ...someone in some other part of the world gains that what one loses ...
i have been Extremely Lucky to be on a break from full time work since April 2012... i got to watch my kids grow up ...taught them instead of sending them to cram classes after school ... babysat them and their school friends ... carted them to and from sports meets far away and met many fellow aggrieved parents who kids were KRAZY about sports ...
blogged like a lazy ass ... Ranted to the High Skies on FB ...
Researched (some folks nomenclature for such Research is Stalking) mais i am quite gentle (some folks nomenclature for such genteeeel ways is Narcissism :P :P :P ) about my flaws ... at least i know that i can be a Hypocrite, Extremely Contradictory, and Narrrrcisssitic :D :D :D and Psychotic and Neurotic and the Ghost et moi and my ghostly tales make me A SCZOID :D :D :D
hmmmm let's just say the list is a Mile long
Mais in my defense .... at Least i am un peu Self AWARE :D :D :D
coming back to the original Plot
i am sooooooooooooooo Gratefull Yee Universe
for all the Free Taim to dote on my Precious DNAs both are Martian Imports :D :D :D
in 2012 i watched Hercule Poirot aka David Suchet like iohhhhh ... my afternoons alone were spent in Awsum Company avec Mr Poirot
then i read online and fought online aka Anti Corruption aka Fought Tooth and Nail with Intels from Ivy League Universities all over the globe ... lol
then i went and Rained on Phillip Nikolayev's Indian Poetry Group ....iohhhhh Never Been Such a Gooofy Dodo Ever ... i saw intels Arguing about Poetry and me-an Honours in Economics with a wee bit of French Literature (elective) and Existentialism-Philosophy(yet another Elective) decided to give Published Poets and World Famous Authors a lesson in Logic about Poetry .....ewwwwwwwwwwwww yuck moi and my Jhansi ki ulooo/owl ways post the anti corruption gang bust ....
uffff EPIC Face Palms and sooooooo Ashamed of my Don Quixote-esque Stooooopidesque Stint amongst those Erudite Authors and Poets .... eeeowwww it was
then i kinda settled down and went on like a Rottweiler after some mallu teachers in an Indian School in Bahrain ...
came back to India and Absolutely Fell in <3 with FB for it's Live Events ...getting to Hear Nobel Laureates from the comfort of my bedroom .... bought a few things via the FB market place ...
cooked and looked after my kids ...homeschooled them and finally started making videos about food
dealt with cancer while i was at home .... vis a vis ...so many patients who are working full time while dealing with cancer ...
post Radiation ...i have binge watched online content like my life depended on it LOL
i have Thoroughly Enjoyed watching all Genres of shows and movies online ...watched Avatar 2 twice in the comfort of the gold theatre during my chemo days...
my kids treated me to exquisite meals at the Ritz Carlton and other equally good restaurants on various occasions to cheer me on with the milestones crossed in my fight against the big C
i have been jolted by my Big Friend/Lovvv and his Team at Meta ...a few times LOL
i used to be present and type for a nano second and Find AWSUM excuses to RUNNNNNNNNNNNN away
However i am here to stay this time around MarkO
And when i heard my Fav Cousin and Support from Malluland say that she doesn't remember when she last watched a movie and that she never watches Television or gets time to socialise ...
I felt soooo sad for her ... i hope i get to go meet all of them in Malluland soon as i Owe her a Few hours of Leisure ... i hope i can take on her responsibilities and give her some free time ...
Shaila Chechi and her Mom aka my Aunt are the reason my parents finally sold a shop and house ...and later land my dad owned in Kadapakada in Kollam Dist...
My Aunt insisted that my parents stay with her and Close the deal and return to Pune with money to buy a house and marriage and a cushy retired life ...
when my Aunt insisted ... it meant that much additional work for my cousin .... i have been having awsum long holidays since the mid 80s with my cousins in Kollam and Trivandrum-TVPM
and they took me around the place and cheered me up and it was thorough Rejuvenation and i loved spending time in their company ...
be it my first wrap around skirt or first home made icecreams which was such a Wovvv factor as a 4-5 year old ...or even being the reason Madre cooled down about me going for the Jaipur Literature Festival --the agenda was meeting the Ostracon folk and taking the group to the next level--did not happen ... but that was a Wonderfull Experience going for the fest and getting to meet The Guru and new members i had signed on thanks to their links with the Guru...
To Shaila Chechi gently cheering me on in her oh so Subtle ways two days ago ....
I so hope the Krishnan Chaanaar Clan understands how much you have done for them and the Countless Delicious Meals you make for ALL and Sundry ...
Dearest Chechi you are not Just a Housewife and i Hope that Everyone can see How Selfless You have Been ...
The sarees you have given me and all the Long Distant Gentle Encouragement .... mentioning Mr Thesaurus Tharoor's name was a Master Stroke in Negotiation according to moi
That one statement calmed the Madre who was in Riotous Banshee mode ... i never followed Thesaurus nor would i spend time listening to him then as i was Only interested in Ostracon and World Peace ... LOL
However i have Never Ever Thanked You ...
Hat Tip Shaila Chechi
May Your Tribe Increase
and
May You Get Enough and More People Volunteering to Pitch in ...so that you and your Fav Person get to catch a movie and get an evening or two of complete Relaxation and some Free Time
You never Complain about anything ... i am making this Clear as ... people are just Waiting to Misconstrue and be Malevolent ...
🙏🏽
 

Conversations chez moi on 1st April 2017...

 Conversations chez moi 

yesterday : little one to me ....if you say Yes to me mama (he needed an ice cream) i will teach you bad ..bad words in Japanese 

me: too stunned to say anything 

today : elder one to me .....this kind of cramming is sooo crimping my style ...i am not cut out for Studies ...i am a free bird and like to study different things ....this is 3rd degree torture ... 

me : i can't take this anymore ....same story every summer for the last 10 years !!!! sigh ...plan to make him give his 12th Boards in October ... when i was working ...i would take a week's leave and ego massage the elder one to finish his papers ...coz once in 7th std when he knew he coud not fail ...he walked out of his science exam as he saw his juniors playing football ....his science teacher was aghast and so was i to see his answer sheet ...

i am already waiting for 24th April ...end of exams 

sometimes i wonder who hates exams more ...my elder kid or me 

the little one has finished studying for all his exams on his own ... french and math were the only two subjects that needed a little help from me 

two kids and soooooo very different they are ... 

Imports from Mars and ego massaging them during exams ....Phewwww :(

Custard

 4th January 2022

Yesterday custard with toast was my dinner...i used quite a bit of the custard powder and i love the jelly like consistency of the custard...i used full cream cow's milk as the skimmed milk powder is over... and that helped ∆ the consistency of the custard i guess... 

during childhood thick creamy custard with loads of fruits and nuts... was a standard sweet dish for parties at home and everyone loved it...my dad used to buy buffalo milk from a farm near the AirForce station where I grew up... ergo the milk used to be Thick and the custard very creamy ... I usually got assigned the task of chopping up the fruit and nuts for the fruit salad as we used to call custard with fruits ...

After we grew up custard with fruits is Rarely made by my mom or anyone else as a sweet dish for parties...i too Never served it during any party i held chez moi while living on the Tea Estates...where the Effort and Time taken to make the sweet dishes were Marked ....sweet dishes I made a day before the party and were Elaborate affairs...i rue not clicking snaps of the food i used to cook during those 6 years of living on the Tea Estates...a Herculean amount of cooking happened even on a daily basis... due to guests I was hosting the whole year...

Evening tea itself had so many aspects to it...a sweet element, a savoury element, something store bought, nuts and even eggs ...

There is a huge difference in what is served by an ordinary Indian house hold on Tea Estates even today and the system of using cloth napkins and crockery and cutlery...

All those systems went out of the window when I shifted back to Pune and my boys were toddlers... their favourite activity was playing with plates and glasses and throwing everything ever so often...

I packed up All the breakable stuff and switched to steel utensils...

And That was That...